How to Recognise and Replace Self-Limiting Beliefs to Break Through Mental Barriers
"Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right." — Henry Ford
Have you ever wanted to achieve something great?
Have you had a burning desire in your chest to take action towards the goal?
Have you attempted to start your project and then almost immediately had the doubt creep in?
'I have no experience! No one will take me seriously!'
'I have no idea what I'm doing. I should just forget about it'
I've been there plenty of times and I'm sure you have too.
If you're ready to break through those mental barriers, boost confidence, and open doors to new opportunities.
Let's dive in!
Identify
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." — William Shakespeare
Self-limiting beliefs impose a great emotional weight over time.
Frustration, missed opportunities, self-doubt, it can make you feel like you don't deserve success. That you're not as talented as other people who are slightly ahead of you on the journey.
All of this pressure can lead to a false sense of identity.
An identity as someone who just isn't capable of the thing you want to do.
One of the best ways to break this false image is to write down your achievements in a note file.
In your accomplishment file make headings for every area of your life.
It could look something like:
Career
Relationships
Sports or extracurriculars
Education
Then write down everything you can think of that you've achieved in those areas. Mentally go through your life year by year noting everything down. At the end you will have a list to prove those beliefs wrong.
The next time you start to doubt yourself, look at this list and realise that the fear is all in your head. You've overcome difficult challenges before and succeeded and you can do it again.
You are much more capable than you think.
What if?
"The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." — Les Brown
I started writing online when I was thirteen. I would post stories on a forum mostly for myself but I developed a small fan base that would read my work. Being a very shy, introverted person who had a long history of being bullied at the time, this was the only way I felt comfortable expressing myself.
I enjoyed the positive comments I received. People were very kind and encouraging to me. It made me happy but I just couldn't overcome the voice in my head. The voice the bullies put there telling me I would fail and to stop trying.
Anxiety started to creep in and I started to withdraw from everything I was doing. I gave up the sport that I liked, stopped trying that hard in school and I quit writing online for a long time after that. It has been a long journey to get rid of the self limiting beliefs that I once held.
After those initial experiences, I've gone through a rollercoaster of emotions every time I've wanted to try or learn something new. I am now, many years later, putting my work online again and I can confidently say that I won't be afraid again.
What changed?
Perspective. I got older and started to have regrets about everything I gave up. I regretted not trying as hard as I could have. I started to wonder where people I once knew ended up and many of them are pretty successful.
This made me feel terrible.
I realised that I could have been much closer to my goals than I am now if I just stopped doubting myself and tried.
The funny part is that i'm sure none of those people think about me at all. Everyone is so focused on themselves, their goals and their immediate circle that everything else just gets pushed aside.
I started to change my mind about everything that I thought was possible for myself.
This new mindset made me try harder and take more chances.
It made me wonder 'What if I started now?'
and
Will it work?
"Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you." — Mary Kay Ash
Carol Dweck is a Stanford psychologist who showed that individuals who believe abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work outperform those who see skills as fixed traits.
A study involving over 600,000 students worldwide revealed that those with a growth mindset were more academically successful and displayed greater well-being compared to their peers with a fixed mindset.
This research even found that mindset could be a more significant factor than socioeconomic status in determining academic success, suggesting that mindset shifts can mitigate other challenges, including financial barriers.
It's amazing how much the mind can influence reality.
Once I started believing that everything was a skill that could be learned and developed, everything changed.
How to change your mind
"It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not." — Denis Waitley
Now that we know what we should do to overcome our limiting beliefs, the question becomes - how do we do it?
Expose the Lies
To begin changing our beliefs we need to know what they are.
An amazing exercise for this is called 'Expose the Lies' from Lisa Nichols. A New York Times Best-Selling Author, Empowerment Coach, and the Founder-CEO at Motivating the Masses.
Here's how it works:
Grab several sheets of paper, a red pen and a pencil.
Write down every lie you tell yourself for every area of your life in pencil.
This could look like:
"I'll never have enough money"
"I'm not a math person"
"I'm a slow learner"
"My family will never understand me"
"I can't lose weight"
"I'll never be good at boxing"
It will be uncomfortable and you'll want to stop but don't.
Now write the truth in red pen under the lie.
Every lie will have a truth.
Afterwards, read it for two days, four times a day.
Lie, truth, lie, truth, lie, truth.
The next time the lie comes up, your brain will automatically remember the truth because it now has two options to work with instead of just the lie you usually tell yourself.
After the second day of reading the truth, grab an eraser and erase the lies.
What now?
"The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind." — Roy T. Bennett
The brain is hardwired to protect itself from pain even if it's imaginary.
Most of the time, the consequence of failure is smaller than we think and every failure we have is a chance to grow and learn.
Reframing self-limiting beliefs takes time and can be a very uncomfortable process.
Be patient and treat yourself with compassion.